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I thought that by losing my virginity at 25, I was uniquely equipped to handle the experience with wisdom and maybe even a little nonchalance.

Why We Need to Stop Using the Word “Virginity” | The Everygirl

There were several reasons that I doggedly pursued the possibility of losing my virginity in such a Trying to get rid of virginity manner. Tryimg was the sheer fact that I was See, I had done my research. I had read articles and essays, interviews with men and women who were asked how they felt about having sex with another adult who was still a virgin.

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The results were overwhelmingly discouraging. Both men and women seemed to fear the inexperience.

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I read this and I internalized it. This only increased my concerns, made me even more afraid to put myself out there. I put a tremendous amount of pressure on myself with each passing year, setting ridiculous Trying to get rid of virginity I had no control over. I turned sex into something that needed to be crossed off a list, a rite of passage into adulthood, into normalcy.

I have health problems that complicate things.

I am what I am. But my weight has kept me from putting myself out there, seeing myself as someone that anyone could want, sexually or otherwise. Trying to get rid of virginity of this has been my fault, buying into cultural stereotypes and self-deprecating personal philosophies about attraction and superficiality. Some of this has come from a string of bad experiences, others who have chosen to use my physical appearance Horny housewives in kansas city a way to push me away and to hit me where it hurts the most.

But I am trying nonetheless. These factors had led me to a pf of fear when it came to sex. Trying to get rid of virginity this way, sex became a daunting undertaking, something I both craved and dreaded.

Trying to get rid of virginity

Tryiny And it seemed that with each passing year, it only became more of an impossibility. Enter a man. We reconnected over drinks and then started spending more time together and I knew fairly quickly that he was interested in me in a romantic way. There were no games and no uncertainties—both things that had plagued my past experiences.

It also became clear that he was interested in having sex with me. This felt earth shattering.

The Adult's Guide to Losing Your Virginity

oof I was thrilled and excited, but also terrified. I obsessed over how and when to tell him that I was a virgin, and played out possible scenarios of how he might react. Would he, reviled by me, go running for the hills? When I did finally tell him, in an awkward and overly dramatic conversation—as is my way—he was surprised, but surprisingly unfazed.

I was I believed there was no great mystery for me when it came to the mechanics of it. It was a natural thing—no big deal. I told him all of this.

Sitting in his truck in a Target parking lot, I told him that I wanted to have sex with him too, because I wanted to know him better, in that way. When sex finally did happen, I was surprised by Trying to get rid of virginity lot of things. I was surprised by how easy it was for me to undress in front of him, how little I thought about the perceived Fucking asian girls in Halifax in my physical appearance in the moment.

And I was right about how natural sex felt, how we connected and how easy that connection seemed to come. It was not awkward and it did not end in disaster.

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For the first time, maybe ever, I felt good, sexy even. What I was wrong about was how much sex mattered.

It did change things, for me and for us. It turns out that once you expose yourself to another person in that way, you become inextricably linked.

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My feelings and my desires for him exploded, transformed into something I had never felt before, something I am positive only comes with this level of physical intimacy. I wanted him more than I had ever wanted someone.

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And I had him for a while. We explored one another, enjoyed one another, and I felt like a new person.

virignity I learned what it felt like to be a sexual being and I liked it. We parted ways as people sometimes do, over a misunderstanding, a mutual inability to communicate until it was too late, emotions were too high.

I felt this loss deeply, perhaps disproportionately, given the time we were together and the nature of our romantic interlude. I felt foolish.

Bamboozled even. I was angry and I was hurt. I realized my friends had been right.

How much greater the sense of loss became. That was what I had underestimated so fully. With perspective, it turns out that the significance of sex, for me, resides somewhere in the middle of those two extremes.

How Do You Know When You're Ready To Lose Your Virginity? Ask Yourself These Questions

It bears more weight than I convinced myself it would, that is for certain. But some of the world-shattering aspects have since mellowed as the dust has settled. I see how sex magnifies things, creates connections that are unique to other relationships, impacts the depth of feeling. It turns out that sex is complicated rrid matter how old you are. I think it has to be.

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I can be intimate with another person. What a strange and lovely sensation. Image via. Home Lifestyle Feeling All the Feelings Everything that's complicated about losing your virginity at Stephanie Harper February 23, FB Twitter ellipsis More.

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By Stephanie Harper. Popular in Feeling All the Feelings. Close Share options. Close View image. Everything that's complicated about losing your virginity at