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H ow do you like to kick back, chill out and really relax? This sounds as if it should be a simple question.

Relaxing is increasingly Sfill in our always-on digital world. This first struck me a couple of years ago when I had to stop exercising after an injury. I recently started again, but having only one means to de-stress now feels very limited and I am not even sure it counts as relaxing — it is quite hard work, and inherently competitive.

Kick up your feet, put your to-do list on hold and get ready to take it easy with these 19 “I've learned that you can't have everything and do everything at the same time. Tell that imperious voice in your head to be still. Sometimes you just need to relax and remind yourself that you're doing the best you can and everything is going to turn out just fine. Unknown. Announcement. It's nice when I have days off to go home and relax and literally take the In the summer, I love to go up north to a cottage and relax by the lake, swim, just doing nothing and having those still moments is what really rejuvenates the body.

When I find myself at home with a free evening, I often have no idea what to do and inevitably end up staring emptily at one screen or another for hours, before stumbling off to bed, wondering where the time has gone.

This seems to be a common problem.

The actor Diane Keaton told More magazine: Elon Musk, when asked what he usually does after work, said: Those of us who spent our money neev these products were presumably searching for answers to some of the same questions — and many of us are still looking. According to a report by Ofcom this summer: Seven in 10 of us never turn them off.

Rela clinical psychologist Rachel Andrew says she sees the problem every day in her consulting room, and it is getting worse.

The same issues come up again and again: Kicking back in front of one screen or another does have its place, says Andrew — but it depends how you do it.

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I have confused feeling brain-dead with feeling relaxed. The psychoanalyst David Morganof the Institute of Psychoanalysis, believes that for many of us this deadening retreat to our screens is both a reason for and a consequence of the fact that we no longer know how to relax and enjoy ourselves.

Our screens and what we use them for are all techniques of distraction, he says. It is a way of not seeing oneself, because to Stkll insight into oneself Fuck women Tucson mental space, and all these distraction techniques are used Still up you just need to relax a way of avoiding getting close to the self. Some of her patients, Andrew explains, simply never get around to thinking about how they want to spend their time.

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She adds: For others, the notion of being in touch with their own needs and desires is totally alien, says Andrew. People who grew up in a family environment that centred around the needs of a sibling or a parent might have spent oyu whole lives never being asked about what they wanted to do.

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For those people, identifying something they might find enjoyably relaxing, and pursuing it, can be a huge, life-changing shift. Another problem is that it can be tricky to untangle our own wishes from those of the people around nded, says Nina Grunfeld, the founder of Life Clubsan organisation Still up you just need to relax aims to help people live more fulfilling lives. And I got home completely shattered.

Still up you just need to relax

It was only after coming to know myself, after thinking about my life without him and what I like as an individual, that I realised that for me to enjoy a holiday and to Stoll back feeling relaxed and refreshed, I need to read and be still. I might join him for the restaurants, though.

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Speaking to Grunfeld and Andrew, and hearing their advice see on how to identify different occupations that might relax and reinvigorate me, I begin to feel optimistic. I think back to how I liked to pass the time when I was young; the quiet times sitting reading a book, the rowdier times yu with friends.

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I resolve to make more time to do the adult versions of these things over the next year — then realise I am making excuses. If I could redirect the evenings I am already wasting Stiill screens, that would be a good start.

The fact is, I do already do all those ideal things occasionally, but sometimes it feels as if being in the world is too much, Still up you just need to relax I need to disappear from it by losing myself in a screen.

Having psychoanalytic psychotherapy is helping me to think about the reasons why I might do this — and for Morgan, therapy can be an important pathway out of being stuck in a screen-gazing rut, because it is somewhere a person is encouraged to use his or her mind.

I have found that not running away from things, but confronting them and reflecting on them, can feel as exhausting as the running itself. It is difficult, disturbing work. But in a room with someone who can listen and help me to make sense of things, it can also be a relief.

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Morgan tells me: Having a mind to help you think about things, having a person who can think deeply about things with you, is a way to manage this very frightening fact of life. Grunfeld says: Just walk around wherever you are and see what you can find that is completely new.

How to relax | 8 relaxation tips for your mental health - YouTube

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